the thoughts of an evandalist

some strange days upon me.

2010-04-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

And they have been really strange. I've been pretty depressed lately, had a lot of things stressing me out and had a few down days, but muchos thanks to some really good friends for keeping me smiling and taking my mind off things. I havent blogged in ages, partly because noone really reads this, and partly because I've had other things to do. This blog has always been something for myself to look back at and wonder at though, much like an occasional diary.

Been playing loads of basketball lately, and its definately having a positve affect on me. I've lost a bit of weight, getting a bit fitter and gained a little mobility, all good things. Theres even talk of perhaps making a team and entering a league, its just whether we can get the funding and enough people to consistantly turn up, fingers crossed.

Had a really strange day, saw someone I dont see very often, and not in a long long time, and I used to be incredibly close to them several years ago. She was the first person I lost to weed, as smoking became more important to her than friendship. This has happened since with one of my oldest friends, and although hes still a good friend, hes someone I cant always manage to be around, especially when the whinging about not being able to afford food etc comes into affect. It seriously creases me. But seeing that one person sorta dazed me for a while, didnt know what to say to her or anything. Kept thinking of how things were several years ago and how well we got on, so much a mate was talking to me and I didnt even realise. Bah to marijuana!

Made a huge batch of curry, so had some tonight and will have dinner tomorrow too! I really hope that me and a bunch of the boys get to do a camping trip somewhere in the summer, seriously need something to look forward too. My birthday is in August, so I'm hoping to avoid that as I'm fed up of disappointments on the day of birth. I'm also fed up of not getting an interview for jobs, I've applied for several and nothing. I really want a job and its not happening. Bah to this as well!!!

This shall do for now, adios punks

today....

2010-03-18T13:05:00.000-07:00

is certainly one I'd rather best forget. basketball was shit, bus was late... and many other little things got to me. I even screamed "FUCK OFF" in the kitchen as food spilt and there were guests here. tbh though, hes an arse so i couldnt give one shit.

I hate these days, everything little thing goes against you, and it all adds up and gets me to boiling point. usually, this results in me just fuming in my own little world. but screaming that earlier felt so damn good. basketball from last night hasnt downloaded yet, so shower and watch that when its done. i cant even be arsed with food now after spilling some. it wasnt even cooked or anything, it was the last straw.

*fumes*

There and Back Again....

2010-02-20T17:27:00.000-08:00

A hobbit and ents tale.... by Kevin Rowland and driven by Stephen Silcox.

So its saturday.... I get woken up by the postman. Ooooh new hoodies I wonder to myself as I bleary eyed get out of bed and go to answer the door. The postman had simply posted a letter through that wasnt for us... and knocked to get it back. Typical!!! I go online anyway, and speak to Stevie who's on about doing summin. We end up going to Mordo.... I mean Merthyr and then head up towards the Brecon Beacons. Heres what the camera saw!

Quite happy with some.... Although the last shot, I feel like theres something lacking. Its an awesome view but I think it still needs some work. But I posted it anyways.

Afterwould, me and Steve go to see Gus do a martial arts demo in Ebbw Vale which was cool, although we were shocked no-one else turned up to watch. It was really good too! We then had a chinese, watched some crappy dating show on ITV for 20 mins and I came home. Had a really good 2hour phone conversation with someone too, more to come perhaps!

thats me out for now...

no beef ya'll, LOVE.

ahem.

The Graphics Tablet

2010-02-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

Has actually been getting a little use, and its hard getting to grips with it but I'm enjoying it... so heres a couple of things.

self portrait, and skin is bloody solid to do! happy with teh first attempt at hair though!

another self, and this was going to be more detailed and not even of me, but it just developed that way and I like the simplistic sketchyness of it. result!

dream update.

2010-02-12T02:54:00.000-08:00

had to mention last nights dream, as it was quite mad.

I'm in some forest, and I feel a sense of urgentness, as if I'm rushing to help someone. As I'm running, I turn around instinctively and as I do some men armed with swords burst out from the undergrowth. I cut them down immediately with my own weapon and advance. I come across a cave, and enter. Inside the cave, are two children, both about 12 years old, one boy and one girl. they both look incredibly panicked and I seem to know them. I check they're ok and turn around to see a floating platform with some sort of winged amalgmation of a demon and a man. He looks a litle like the badkid from Harry Potter, but much older. I suddenly urge myself to rise and lunge at him, flying at him with my sword held ready to strike. this bit was a blur, but i remember dispatching him with relative ease by lopping off his head.

next thing I know, I'm at my old school. Theres loads of kids about, and all seem to be looking at me. A teacher, someone I dont seem to recognise comes upto me and thanks me for looking out for the kids, and I then go to the staff room area with them. In there, is the secretary who worked at the school when I was there, only now shes a teacher herself. everyone seems to glare at me but in a cold almost annoyed way. The woman who I remember seems happy to see me though, and we talk. Feeling everyone still staring at me I tell the lady I'd better be off, and leave. Going outside I lift myself up and float around the old science block, looking for the kids I'd saved. I remember flying higher, and a few of the kid pointing and staring. Some of the school has changed from what it was, but the rough shape is pretty much the same.

I remember perching myself atop the old back buildings, which are now several stories high, and looking out over the landscape. The rugby/football field is still there, and theres a lot of kids wandering about as if its dinner time. I see the kids I saved earlier, and they wave. I then remember reaching upwards and flying up high, and over the mountains. everything else has changed now, and it doesnt look like the place. Its around here I wake up, and wish I could go back. Sometimes, waking up is the nightmare.

nonsleep and buddha.

2010-02-02T08:46:00.001-08:00

today has been a looooooooooong day. went to bed at just after 7pm last night, and woke up about midnight. that isnt any good! had to go to job centre today for the second day in a row, and, i'm not positive as i'm not very good at reading woman, but i think the one lady there was flirting with me a bit. wahey!!! however, i'd rather a nice photography job love, not your body! it was bloody raining too, so a hot sausage roll from greggs was called for. wet and cold is not good!

afterwards i had another job with teh aber chronicle. did several pics in brynmawr at a new buddhist centre. its not finished but is operational, and they're decorating a lot of the building, but its looking good so far! here, is a pic.

the one guy, Lama Rabsang, was well cool, and he didnt seem to stop smiling! maybe i should convert myself and some grumy friends to buddhism, mite smile more often! its 5pm now, and i'm foofed. having some supper then bed i think. may upload some pics from my ickle camera tomorrow and post some up, need to organise for the diary!

laters holmes

Fair play....

2010-01-30T10:35:00.000-08:00

I've had a shitty couple of days. Nothing much has 'happened', I've just felt really down, things are getting on top of me and I just cant be arsed anymore. And just to rub it all in, I've been looking forward to going for a curry tonight with a group of friends, money was all planned out... and look what happens. Bank charge. curry cancelled. Kevin is not amused. I've been offered money from the biddy, but I cant take it knowing the money is better off going in the bank to try and sort this out.... got a couple of bills going out soon too. Sometimes it all just mounts up.

Cheering up of the highest quality needed. CV's can be posted below=[

7:00am.

2010-01-25T23:02:00.000-08:00

whats a guy supposed to do? oh wait, funny pictures. always good for waiting to get tired. thought i'd share my favourites.....

i love this inanimate pics.

the pope. better than a kitty.

oh dear.... i didnt laugh, honest.

had to share this.

wouldnt tiger uppercat have been better?

and thats it. nite

sloth sunday

2010-01-25T16:02:00.000-08:00

sunday was an amazingly chilled out day. i was woken up at 12:45 by the biddy, to hear that dinner was almost ready. good start. my friend simon came up not too long after, as we'd decided to watch a film or two and he wanted a couple of pics for his facebook. photos were alright but the light outside was quite mad, so some didnt come out too well. some were cool though and have been edited today.

after taking the pics, we watched the first film of the day, severence. not bad, not amazing. characters were a bit typical, but i've come to expect such a thing these days. couple of nice bits, a guys leg tearing off as he tries to exit a bear trap was a little funny, as were some of the other bloody moments. if sam hasnt seen it she may have too!

second film, so i married an axe murderer. i thought i'd seen it before but couldnt remember any of it, so i may have been wrong. this was alright, even tho mike myers wasnt as funny as he was in waynes world. nancy travis is a complete lovely lady though, and my mind said phwoar and a few occasions.

at this point, simon chirped in that he was hungry and fancied pizza. even though i'd had a pretty huge beef roast dinner, i was tempted. two meat feasts from munchies later and the third film was upon us!

the others. not bad, bit slow at times but you didnt notice it, and i enjoyed the twist at the end. nicole kidman, while far too thin, again looked lovely in the classic 40's look. i need someone who'll dress up for me. photography wise mind, not naughty! well.... then again! eric sykes was cool in it, and i was disappointed they didnt use him more. not bad though!

i'v recently started watching sex in the city, as an ex enjoyed it and being far too lovely to her i used to watch a few with her, and enjoyed it. sarah jessica parker looks utterly strange, but theres something really alluring about her. i think its just how she is, the way she talks etc, but i think charlottes the tastiest! watched first 5-6 episodes though and i'm mainly enjoying it. i've got birds of prey downloading, which is a series based on batman and catwomans daughter fighting crime. dina meyer is in it, and plays batgirl/oracle. may be alrite!

waiting for the raptors game to download from sunday, we beat the lakers in what sounds like an awesome game, but i dont know details as not to spoil! always nice to beat the best team in the league. played some snooker earlier with my friend tufa, and i won 4-1, so nice revenge for him winning last time 3-2. he fluked a ball to win too, so i was glad i had some luck this time! he also doesnt like it when i snooker him, so i did it as often as my skills would allow!

thats the end of todays blog, shall speak again soon chums.

last couple'a days.

2010-01-22T14:03:00.001-08:00

so thursday, myself and seniori tufa went to play snooker, my first time in about two years. really enjoyed too! he won 3-2, he fluked to win one frame, but i thrashed him in one too! otherwise it was all really close. high break of 16 for kev!

afterwards, i went up coxys where we waited for janine, and then the 3 of us went to see avatar in newport. fair plays, really good film. i thought people were gonna overhype it for me a lot, but it was amazing. stunning to look at, and i wish the bbc would do a pandora wildlife special!!! be awesome=]

last night then, i found an argos sale thing. had a little look and, as i've been after one, found a nice little sony camera, 10mp, easy to carry about wherever i go, £70! had to have it. biddy bought it for me so i can pay her back in two instalments, otherwise i'd have to not have it and it was the last day of the sale! took this lovely pic with it earlier of the clothesline in the front garden

not bad quality fair dues! i dont think i've mentioned, but i'm hoping to get a few designs done so i can get some tshirts printed. only done it once before, and that was for gus and mike's film, balaka. it came out pretty cool too, nice simple white silouhette. so i've been thinking. playing codmw2 the other day... inspiration stuck. as i've been potching with 8bit pixel graphics a small bit lately, and i've done some mario stuff in the past (maybe i'll find it and show) i decided to recreate the captain price mario figure... this is it!!

pretty happy with that, colours look about right, and i hope his facial hair is spot on. hands were a bit mad to do, not sure if they're too fat or too thin, which is why they're covered! i may still potch with those. but thats roughly what'll be on the tshirt! gonna have a think of another few i can do, as i love the 8bit look. optimus prime perhaps or keep it simpler and just do autobot and decepticon symbols. who knows!

inspired by sam...

2010-01-19T19:13:00.000-08:00

to put some random facts about myself down. i'm not gonna copy though and do ten, cause she didnt tag me, therefore making me feel totally insabstantial and upset... but i'll let her off when she starts taking me to see films again!!!

my mind, is a completely overactive lump of grey matter. seriously. its mad am saying how much she sometimes likes blogging as opposed to real life, because i often enjoy my imagination and dreams more than what life has to offer. its mainly because your imagination is your ultimate film, book, gameor whatever. you can be or do what you want, no matter how strange or crazy it is. the downside is i find it very hard to shut my brain down to go to sleep, which sucks=/

i absolutely love transformers. seriously. they're one of the most creative and ingenius toys ever invented, and although teh cartoon doesnt always hold up well, i still watch it on occasions! the original 80s film is amazing, such a huge part of my childhood and i think nostalgia is an amazing feeling. it is pretty much the original stuff only that enjoy, it started gettiong crazy with more sci fi like cars, which were'nt really robots in disguise dabnammit!

i'm very weary about watching tv, its either things i've already watched or comedy quiz shows, i think i'm very much a "i like what i know" kinda guy. i find committing to tv series a hard thing too, i know i've lost out on a lot of great tv, but thats just me. i love my spaced, black books, friends and red dwarf... that'll do me!!

i suffer from depression possibly more than i let on to people. i get down quite a lot, and it gets me in such an unmotivated and uncreative way, its just not good for me. i've never been to see anyone about it, as i'm not a fan of medication or anything like that, so its pretty much a deal with myself thing. a lot of it stems from childhood, and a lot from my experiences in university. i've had some shit to go through thats for sure. sometimes i can go a couple of months and feel pretty good, but all it takes is one little reminder of something and everything seems to pounce on me at once. GRR!!

i absolutely love the dark. not in some sorta goth way, but i love how it can enhance your imagination, and how much better it is for listening to music. quite often if i'm on a bus with music on i'll shut my eyes to listen to it, and thankfully to this day i've never missed a stop. i have however, been caught singing=| theres just a power that comes from music you just dont get from films books and videogames. possibly, that its the only one in which i can have my eyes closed and enjoy, although books do set my imagination off also! also, if i go to sleep i need it to be very dark. i can rarely if ever nap and find it messes me up.

i dont like smoking, and nor am i a fan of alcohol either. my ideal woman would do neither, maybe just have the occasional drunken night but not be a complusive alkie. i just dont understand whats so amazing about these things? i absolutely hate stoners too, i've seen some veryt close friends change for the worse due to the habit, and it can upset me on a daily basis. my ideal woman would also be 6ft tall (to save my back a bit of pain bending down to kiss them) and be a bit of a geek. also, she mite be a comedienne and make me laugh loads.

there, that'll do, its late and i'm actually a bit tired, so i'm gonna shoot off to bed. nice chatting with ya

so last night in cardiff...

2010-01-16T07:11:00.000-08:00

was extremely good fun. bevan came to pick me up, and i met his lovely lady sally, so on the way to cardiff had a good catch up and got to know her a little. in cardiff, we met everyone else at the wellington, lyons, his fiance kyra, ben and his girlfriend jessica, and also kyras sister(ithink anyway!) and her blokey james. we decided not to bother with drink in a pub and just to go get food, deffo a good start! trying to find somewhere to eat however was not so fun! had a walk around half of cardiff, and everywhere seemed full with a queue, so ended up going to out first stop, jamies italian, owned by jamie oliver!

we managed to get a table for four, and, as lyons had just proclaimed he felt like a gangster sat at the back of the places some ice cube followed by nwa came on. class!!!

food wise, i had....

starter; wild boar salami and italian bread. what a stunning flavour, so rich of taste, very impressed!

main; italian chargrilled chicken with ceaser salad and parsley chips. this was awesome. the chicken was cooked perfectly, and the salad was lush! after a winter of eating stodgy food, i notcied the salad and had to have it!

dessert; lemon cheesecake with a dollop of vanilla ice cream. this, was the best cheesecake i've ever had the pleasure of putting in my mouth. its made me want to learn how to make cheesecake to get something as good as this!!!

had an awesome laugh with everyone though, so good catching up and made me realise i dont see enough of them at all. that needs to change!!! i did feel a little left out as there were 4 couples and me, but fair play everyone mingled and it was really cool to see old friends and make some new ones=]

2010-01-15T10:09:00.000-08:00

today, is a good day. i was awoken from a phone call from an old friend shaun, about going to cardiff to see another old friend. hells, fucking, yes. shaun and lyons are a great couple of friends from back in my college days, and we dont get to meet up so much these days a they're both busy and i'm... well not. har! but yeah, cardiff for food, nostalgia, and a ruddy big laugh!

also today, these came in the post!

starship troopers was £2.99, and i havent seen it in years! and gotrek and felix is a series of books i've long loved, and this is the third omnibus. awesomes! also ALSO today, i got THIS!

masterpiece skywarp, a nice big 8 inches (no sniggers) of awesome transformerness. and how much you may ask? £20 in argos of all places!!! how frikkin genius is that? reserved... MINE. wahey!

so thats today anyway, maybe i'll blog tomorrow about how tonight goes, as, excited as i am, they're both taking the wives and well... i dont have one. ho hum! may feel a bit meh about it but i'm not expecting too. anyways....

tallyho!

formspring.me

2010-01-14T08:33:00.001-08:00

how many hookers and an 8 ball?

8, for the irony.

What is your boggle?

the vivid and the strange.

2010-01-13T09:04:00.000-08:00

last night, after struggling to get to sleep for some time, i had one of the most vivid dreams ever.

the start was a little hazy, i remember seeing my grandmother (whos been passed away for a few years now) in some sort of slightly alien building, and speaking with her about having to go hurriedly. she said not to worry but to go, so i remember grabbing my bag and leaving. it felt like a war had occured recently, as there were buildings that were ruined, and what looked a little like the ion cannon fron starwars towering above on building. coming out of one area of buildings the area looked quited dusty, even sandy, and there was a sign that said "be wary of the salamander". wondering what this was, i approached a modern looking 4x4, where a man and woman were sat inside. the woman looked a little nervous, and i remember them both being of asian origin. the man pulled the window down and asked what i was doing out, and i dont remember what we said after but i got into the back, and i think we talked for a little while.

they then preceded to tell me that their teenage son was becoming ill, and had developed some strange visual faults... hair, eyes looked a little animalistic, and kinda reminded me a little of a werewolf. from what it seemed, we were pon another planet colonising it, and people who were hitting puberty were going through problems due to something with the planet. also, i remember the man showing me this one plant, which was almost like an organic curtain, but very large, and that some of them were dying, doubtless due to some bacteria we'd brought that it wasnt used too. after looking at the plant, which i think made a noise, i remember looking into the distance and seeing an amazing vista. it was a very black sky, but was an amazing deep red centrally around a planet that looked a little like jupiter. it really was incredible.

weird bit time, back in the 4x4 we went down a long road and came to a tescos, which was really modern looking. the car park was sorta like in I, robot, where you put your car in one area and then it disappears. i dont remember going inside, but i remember being back where the 4x4 originally was, and my parents being there, who were unsure what to make of the area. i remember telling my mother about my nan, and she was very surprised. i think we then went to see her. i also remember taking the odd photo through the dream.

really weird though! after waking up i found it so hard to get back to sleep just from thinking about it so much... crazy!

2010... so far.

2010-01-11T19:36:00.000-08:00

has been a little strange, and not overly great. the snow, while lovely for some people, is an absolute swine for me. i'm not a fan of it as i have pretty crap balance, and add that to snow, you have a falling kev. and you know what they say about the bigger they are, the harder they fall? yeah. so going along with being depressed, i've also been in a bad mood. people seem to be itching for an argument lately, and i'm at a loss as to why everyone seems to be in the same mood. i'd put a status on facebook, totally random saying about how i'd bought starship troopers for what is literally the price of a packet of fags, and that basically i'd got denise richards(yum), violence and big bugs instead of losing a few minutes off my life and cancer.

now then, someone had lost a family member to cancer a day ot two before, and i simply had no idea. they'd not mentioned anything on facebook, but decided to try and make me feel guilty for what i'd said. dont get me wrong, i'm sorry for what happened and its not nice to lose a family member to any sort of reason, but to have a go at me? i didnt do it? it wasnt made to offend you? why did they have to feel they had to go out of their way to attack me? i'm simply at a loss. if you feel the same, please explain to me why this is such a bad thing even though i'd had no prior knowledge.

theres been so much grating at me though, luckily it seems to have passed by without me losing my rag. this, an extremely rare occurance can cause continents to collide asunder, so thank your lucky stars this didnt happen.

projects have been sorta held back too. my idea of having a diary and a photo a day hit a hitch straightaway, as the post has been late and due to not being able to get about, i've missed a few days of anything, so may have to make a little up or think back and represent what i did that day. (angry faces perhaps).

good news.

gotrek and felic the third omnibus is on its way! just finished reading hellforged by ben counter, based on the soul drinkers space marine chapter. really interesting to read about things to do with necrons, who, for the uneducated, are sorta like a scifi egyption undead. but very hi-tech. their weapons pretty much flay what it comes into contact with, whether its steel or skin. ouchen! but yeah, really enjoyed and apparantly theres a couple more books about the sould drinkers who also seemed pretty interesting. but gotrek and felix is next, i've read the first six books and they were all prtty good, a couple of them being top notch, so looking forward to those!

the xbox hasnt been on today, as i'm getting a little bored of it. gaming just isnt how i used to see it. i miss the days of playing FF7 for 5 hours at a time, going through mario allstars and trying to do it in one sitting(and failing, lost levels... dont get me started!) and driving the streets of the latest GTA. i'm just not that into anything story wise, and that for me is the thing. borderlands was really good, but i cant be arsed to finish it. batman was good also, and really truthful to the source material, but again, cant be arsed. even call of duty and its multiplayer goodness isnt getting me that bothered about sticking my xbox on. just dont seem to have the same amount of other people interested in playing cod anymore, and thats what i miss about cod4. which i did have a little sesh on saturday with marc and bunty, and it was good for about 5 games... then i just got bored=/ i need a break, hence the books and the aforementioned starship troopers!

i'm also finding out the hard way that having a bed set up with which to use my mouse and keyboard on is good, until i try using a graphics tablet... its just so god damn awkward! i need a small table to stick in front of the tv so i can use it with the keyboard in tandem. another thing i've been frustrated at!

i think i've gone on plenty enough now, i doubt anyone will read with the size of this anyway! laters homos.

a wee little update.

2010-01-03T05:14:00.000-08:00

i are ill, as the cool kids may like to say.

thought i was feeling better yesterday, today i feel worse again. i feel like i'm lacking so much energy that i'm gonna just collapse and sleep all the time, even though i've managed a huge dinner (it wasnt huge, it bloody felt it though. about half of what i normally have) and i thought that would have helped, instead its making my stomach go funny. gonna run myself a bath, not usually a fan of sitting down in my own diluted filth but i dont hve the energy to stand up for long enough for a shower, and so a bath it is. maybe i'll fall asleep in there. my back is also in serious need of... well... anything. anything would help my back feel better right now!

watched the first episode of life last night, and was thoroughly impressed. theres certainly some insane looking creatures out there, and even if they dont look insane, their behaviour may be crazy! check this handsome fellow....

this, is the 'eyestalk fly', no clues as to why. he pumps air into his eye stalks to make himself stronger and more attractive to potential mates. know what i'm doing wrong now innit?

i think today shall mainly consist of more life, some basketball, namely toronto V charlotte, MAYBE a little xbox if i can find the energy, and i'd also like to potch about with my graphics tablet, as i now own (FINALLY!! well not own... ahem) photoshop CS4 thanks to the turk.

one final thing, you may or may not know i'm a bit of a wwe fan, and tomorrow night is something huge going on. tna impact for one show only is moving to a monday night slot to go head to head with wwe.... tna ya'see, has signed hulk hogan. so what did wwe do? one better. bret hart is BACK. one of my all time faves, after the things hes been through i'm excited to see him back on tv. looking forward to seeing how they use him, as i think they've signed him up til april which is... wrestlemania time. will he wrestle? i'm not sure. it'll be damn interesting though!

new years eve...

2010-01-01T05:37:00.000-08:00

was pretty crap as it normally is, but in a new way this year. i'd decided that i'd stay home, order myself a nice big chinese and watch jools holland. how wrong was i.

wednesday night i started shivering loads, in my room with the heater on full and wearing a hoody i was still freezing. i spent most of yesterday in bed, although i did go downstairs to see the fireworks on bbc1 and all i could wonder was how much they'd spent! went back to bed and pretty much thats where i've stayed. i'm aching all over, i have no energy, sneezing, coughing, runny nose..... its pants! i havent even eaten anything either, so much for the whopping great chinese!

god damn the cold!!!

2009-12-18T07:14:00.001-08:00

its freezing out today, and i've been asked to take some pics for the abergavenny chronicle in brynmawr.... in the outside where its freezing cold!!! should be alrite, carol singing in the welfare, batteries for flash are charged just hoipe my camera doesnt die from the cold!!

then to the gwesty for an hour to see people before xmas, doubt i'll get much chance before so should be a larf.

laters!

the joys of nonsleep.

2009-12-09T00:09:00.000-08:00

as much as not sleeping well can be a pain in the arse, theres also some good things too. this morning, one of those good things happened.

downstairs, i had myself some porridge and raspberry jam, needed something hot and something tastey, and hadnt had porridge in millenia. then, a rare thing happened. me and my old man had a good long chat about things. he was telling me about his dad, my grandfather who i never met as i was born a year after he died, told me about how ebbw vale used to look, what he used to do as a kid and about the hugely bad snowfalls of 48' and 63, the latter of which it took him over two days to get home from london due to the enormous amount of snow over the country! it was really nice sharing stories, and it always seems coming upto xmas is when my dad feels more at ease to talk to me, its weird i dont know why. we always have little chats and stuff, but he seems to enjoy it more. maybe its because over xmas you think more about family, and it reminds him of family that have been long gone. i enjoy the stories anyways, makes having insomnia a little more pleasant=]

and so xmas is soon, not really ready for it yet but i'll cope, been skint lately and its not fun! tyhinking about asking the biddy to lend me £50 just to get the main done as i'm doing a wedding in january apparantly, and i should get paid a nice bit for that=] its mainly the kids i have left to get, as well as my sisters birthday present too. stephen king, what have you got for me to get her!!!

had alittle sort out yesterday too, went on a mission at 7am haha. computer desk is in the part of my room that i care little for, and shelves are in its place. these shall be sorted later! hoping i can get rid of the desk and put some boxes in its place, of which includes an old projector i really wanna use for photography. pain in le ass though!

anyways, that'll do for now. maybe i'll do another post later.... ie before xmas=]

amazon.co.uk....

2009-11-28T06:49:00.000-08:00

are officially fucktwits.

whats the point of pre ordring a game if you dont recieve it for 3 days after release? seriously having a pissed off day as my dad is being a right old cock. bends over backwards for anyone cept his own fucking son.

ARGH!

I say 'horlicks'....

2009-11-27T21:51:00.001-08:00

you say 'fuckminge'.

apparantly... well you said it not me.

its 5:52am, and i cannot sleep. its not like i got up late the day before, 10amish i was up and awake, and almost 20 hours later i'm still unable to sleep. W....T.....F! i'm really tired, but as soon as i put my head down my mind becomes incredibly active, thinking about anything and everything, good and bad and so on. i cant describe how infuriating it is! i've probably ranted about this before, and i apologise if i have repeated myself but its my blog and be darned i'll type what i likey!

finally have an idea for the split screen comp, and have even obtained a couple of props. as a photographer it has to be some sort of photograph, and it wont be easy to get what i want... but by eckmwsh, i'm'a try!

went to the shahi earlier with a bunch of mateys, down abergavenny and its an indian restaurant. and a pretty good one at that! for 6 of us it came to £106, which i thought was good as it included a couple of drinks each too plus KEEMA NAAN!!!! i do love those and this was the best one yet! lamb bhuna and pilau, and the lamb was cooked stunningly. i do love my cooking, although i'm not that good, so highly appreciated how nice it was! first to finish i was. ahem=| didnt see kirsty down there even though she shouted, i need more than a shout i need a smack in the face to notice people! silly girl hasnt learned haha. i did notice an old college classmate thoough, quite mad to see her too after these years.

started on the xmen cartoons season two, and morph has been back and gone again. cant remember if he makes another appearence so looking forward to watching more! so hope i get blood bowl today, even though amazon has FAILED ME AGAIN with a preorder. supposed to have it on day of release, did i? no. if it aint here on saturday(today) they're getting an email demanding some sort of apology and maybe summin else, as this happened with guitar hero metallica, another game i'd been gagging to play, both moreso than any call of duty or grand theft auto.

speaking of which, MW2 is out and i've found its a little lacking behind cod4... until i played ground war. the bigger maps suit a few extra people, and i've been loving it even though its not in my beloved hardcore. its a bit more frantic, and even though my reactions can be likened to a sloth that doesnt even care, i'm not doing to bad and most importantly, not screaming 'cunt!' at the television so much. good work infinity ward, now just do some slightly smaller maps and more 18 player modes and i'll be more chuffed than my old man watching steam dvds. silly old coot!

that be it for now...

i say 'bang', you say bye.

mixed end...

2009-11-15T19:47:00.000-08:00

to the week. and i do mean mixed. i thought the seasick steve gig was pretty much the end, however friday proved to be very different. all day was spent either sleeping or running to the loo, which is never a good thing. i've seriously never slept so much in my life, so much i thought i was actually samboy for a small while. i'm sure shes proud.

feeling better sunday, and had some mates round for a game of poker. thoroughly enjoyed partly cause they're my mates, and i enjoy spending time with maytees, but also, for the first time ever in our little poker games, i actually win. worst thing is i've finished second or third a lot of times, just havent had that little luck to carry me through. today however i did, and was the lucky recipient of £14 english. oooo what to spend it on! and no, not you! it was also sharpeys birthday, so i managed to get to asda with little stomach troubles and purchase some alcohol in the form of carling, and treatds in the form of pringles, roasted nuts, and a nice whopping big cake. fuck me it was sweet. it also had smarties, rolos and munchies embedded amongst the soft chocolate top. NOM!!!!

this week should prove quieter than the previous, hoping to see some films with samwise the barbarian and maybe do the odd little visit, but just wanna make sure i feel better so not planning to do too much.

except maybe that £14..... hmmmm *strokes beard*

how to end an amazing week.....

2009-11-12T18:43:00.001-08:00

go see seasick steve LIVE.

my god maytees, it was the second best gig i've ever been too. about a qaurter of the way through the gig i had to look around at everyone and just take in that this simple ex hobo from the usa had now garnered a huge following for his music. half way through, he confirmed just how amazed he was too.

it made me wanna pick up a guitar and attempt to learn again, hearing the things he did with such simple instruments is astounding, and he peformed as good as on the record. with him, was his son, paul martin perhaps who wasnt too shabby himself. he played more of an acoustic style as opposed to blues, and although in each song he used a very similar slow down sorta thing, he wasnt bad.

but amy levere. i have never wanted to marry a womans voice before, and if it wasnt for her being amazingly gorgeous i'd hold onto that faint hope. she dueted on two songs with steve and played a couple of her own, and i was mightily impressed. impressed enough i bought her album after the show, along with teh latest seasick album.

fair dues, i've had a steller week, and i've even started to show promise on MW2. HAR!!!!

poker. sunday night. fucking BONUS!!!!!

today.... and yesterday....

2009-11-10T17:43:00.000-08:00

I felt like xmas had come early.

WWE in cardiff, both shows! only took pics at the one as cameras like mine arent allowed, as it has a detachable lens (wankers) but i did take a few....
CM punk, looking thoughtful...

Undertaker looking victorious after beating punk in a casket match, decent match, superplexes look insane in person!

Drew Mcintyre, had a bout with matt hardy and won, good match!

John Morrison fought Dolph Ziggler (seriously? ZIGGLER??? BAH!) and won, another good match.

it was really good in all, there are more pics but i'm still getting to grips with this bastard site when it involves pictures grrr!!! they are up on facebook however and i'll prob update myspazz too. anyways...

that night after smackdown i got MW2, and not played it a whole lot yet it seems pretty good. not sure about the multiplayer maps yet, always takes a bit of time anyway but first impressions? GOOOOOOD.

next day, RAW. didnt take pics as pics on the camera phone are wank, but another good show. seeing hornswaggle sweet shin music (he cant reach the chin ffs) randy orton was pretty funny, and the miz was actually awesome slagging the crowd off and getting everyoe into it. and he won against kofi (real jamaican not) kingtson. enjoyed muchly! i bet i'll read this back and think what the fuck am i typing... but i'm rather shattered!

turrah plumwhelpers!

FIFTEEN YEARS... and a whole lotta' love.

2009-11-05T07:03:00.000-08:00

Fifteen years ago I discovered something that literally changed my life. It made me part of who I am today, it helped give me confidence during a time in school when I had none, and it also made me realise that I was able to do well at some things, even a sport.

happy birthday to my discovery of...

Basketball.

14 years ago while watching tv on a sunday morning a black man with a babyface dribbling a ball came on the screen and spoke with enthusiasm and love for a sport as I had never seen. All i'd encountered beforehand was the usual yobbery of football, and while there was much passion in welsh rugby none came from me as I had grown tired of people telling me i should play simply because I'm rather beastly sized. This man introduced me to the basic principles of basketball, why its so loved in the states and the culture its a part of, this man had me engrossed. This was all part of the macdonalds world basketball tourney, and the first game i ever saw was the perth wildcats of australia versus the reigning houston rockets. I'd never been so amazed at a sport before, and soon after I found more about the nba and which team i decided to support.

what team better than a team that was also about to embark on an adventure and start its first term in the league? what better for me to learn about basketball the same time as canada would when they received their first (and now only) nba team?

Born. The Toronto Raptors.
Born. My love for basketball.

Damon stoudamire, rookie of the year, vince carter, the next dynasty. vince carter, the betrayal. the lost years. chris bosh, the new hope. I've seen players come and go, I've seen wins come and not even appear, but the loves always been there. As strong as day one. as strong til day none.

Its been just over fifteen years since that moment, and i've followed the team as best as I could while receiving little or no exposure in the UK, I've played and almost made it onto a university team, fitness just costing me of a chance to do something I would have loved even more. It made me discover nba jam on the snes and a wealth of nba games over the years, from nba live, nba street, fastbreak, total nba, nba2k and back to live, I've always been entertained with basketball in one form or another.

To fifteen years in love with a sport, to another fifteen plus.

scoop jackson, words from my mouth can never give enough thanks for dribbling that ball or passing the love that you shared for basketball to us. Thank you.

one kevs cough shall be your end.

2009-10-30T19:06:00.000-07:00

that title may make you realise i am pretty ill. throat is sore, coughing has become as common as breathing and the head seems to be feeling a tad dizzy.

but the bright news.

i've started playing games again. i've always played an hour or two of cod a day, but recently my gaming life has had a slight rebirth. last week i bought warhammer battle march for a tenner at the local blockbuster, and, although extremely hard to suss out and get into, its been really rewarding and i've enjoyed it immensly. the controls arent the best, but when will a stragey game work on a pad when they're better suited to mouse and keyboard? nice tenner!!!

secondly, borderlands. first go was... alrite. played a bit of co-op and didnt know what to think, as the people i were playing with much higher levels i seemed to die a lot. played a bit of single player however and i've gotten the hang of it moreand realised what i was doing wrong. hindsight, i shake mine fists at you!!!

thirdly, i've played a few games of nba live 09 again. and the nba has started=D good times!!!

fourthly, i've invested in a graphics tablet. nothing expensive, but just to see what i think of it, and if i prefer using that to edit images and draw on the pc to a mouse i may get a better one!this is the first attempt on there, and while its basic and scrappy i actually liked it! expect more over the coming weeks=]

adios mine fellows!

allow me....

2009-10-23T11:02:00.000-07:00

to fill you all in. its been a tiny while since i'ce updated this, so heres why.

partly i've been a little preoccupied with life and enjoying time with friends, and the last three days are good evidence of this. let me start with wednesday.

anyone who follows this may be aware that i've been playing in the split screen street fighter 4 tournement. and surprisingly, i actually won. wednesday i met up with a few of the lads and was able to collect the trophy and an official license to dragon punch anyone i encounter. as long as i'm not wearing shoes and have a red headband on. had a really good time too, good group of ladies they are! after that i went to see ben, and fair play it was nice to see him chirpy and i came away grinning.

thursday, the mystical magical steph asked me to go for a curry in spoons, (2 days in a row, first time for me!). we met daz and kate there and again, had a really good time! i'm starting to like curry, nanny breads are gooooood!

friday, myself and samwise (armed with cineworld unlimited passes) went to see a marathon of three films. being old and cretinous we managed two as we were both a tad tired! saw 6 was good, a couple of unexpected twists that i did not see coming! cirque de freak was a mixed bag... theres promise, but it could easily become something utterly pants.

and theres a taster of what i've been upto! look for pics on split screen regarding sreet fighter, you can see how beastly i am standing next to the slightly more delicate frame of mr ben davies, split screen himself.

adios!

today, is a good day.

2009-10-06T06:59:00.000-07:00

little lord of the rings reference there.... mainly because i've been watching them all again, and they look so much better played through the hd dvd player!

anyways, today is a good day indeed. i've finally got the wedding wrapped up pretty much with only a few discs of photos to burn, should give me a nice big £200 in my pocket. and fair play, i've bloody deserved it!

secondly, i know have every single episode of this...

good easy watchable fun methinks! gosh i love the digital age. and as if to top the day off its just been announced that theres to be a remake of one of the best megadrive games ever....

i cannae wait.

tonight is wrestling night, couple of mateys coming up to watch sundays ppv, see what its like anyhoos!

heres hoping more days like this are around the corner.

choices....

2009-10-04T05:43:00.000-07:00

so here they are.... two things i really really want... but can only have one.

harley quinn macquette from animated batman, only 2500 ever made. and a one metre sized optimus prime with speakers in his head. wowser. but which to get? i'd like to increase the harley quinn thing into a collection, and this would be an amazing thing to have, even if there are only four pieces to my collection, what a collection! however, how often is there a 1 metre sized vinyl figure of one of your favourite figures ever made? ARGH!!!

My New Love.

2009-10-02T10:47:00.000-07:00

ladies and gents, let me introduce you to harley quinn!

how goddamn stunning are these? amecomi manga version behind and brucetimm statues in front! they look damn awesome i say=D

i'm now torn with what to save for... a 1 metre optimus prime... or a harley quinn limited edition maquette. ARGH DECISIONS!!!!!

just a quickie....

2009-09-23T22:48:00.000-07:00

havent done this for a wee while, mainly due to not having the head due to a complete lack of sleep. wll that hasnt really changed but i've got good news!!!!

second full week of november is gonna be amazing=]

monday. wwe smackdown rest in peace tour. undertakers last british appearence, cannae wait!
tuesday. wwe raw dx revenge tour. again., cannae wait!
also tuesday. modern warfare 2. holy mcfisty!!!!
thursday. seasick steve in cardiff, i'm going!!

could quite possibly be the best week ever. busy as fuck! fighting, shooting, and a blues singing hobo!

the roughers.

2009-09-12T20:30:00.000-07:00

as i sometimes call it, is a period of time where kev doesnt sleep much at all. back when i was in uni, the second year was a tad depressing, and i gained the gift(?) of insomnia. ever since its always cropped up, but the last two weeks its been horrendous. 4-5 hours a night waking up during is as good as its been, bar one 8 hour sleep waking up a lot an an 11 hour sleep that didnt even seem to happen. its usually because theres something on my mind, but i really dont think theres anything bothering me. this sucks.

in other news, i'm hoping to go for a potch with a couple of spray cans soon, been wanting to for ages and finally have some so its graffiti time. gonna do a couple of stencils and some freehand stuff... see what works best!

games wise, arkham asylum is amazing. but again, i really cant be arsed to play through a game no matter how amazing the story is. i keep going back to either simple games like poker or multiplayer bonanzas like cod4. it feels like a rut in all honesty, i play these games for a bit and am totally amazed by how incredible they are, eg. batman, bioshock, grand theft auto etc but i havent even got half way through any of them. really cant find the motivation! it kind of feels like how a lot of people i know are playing games for the gamerscore, i'm feeling a subconcious oppposite effect. i dunno, maybe i just dont love gaming as much as i used to.

good things to happen over the last few weeks.

the wedding went well, may put a post up about that but yeah, it went alrite. even the helicopter.

mike myers on cod4 is a revelation. i've not had this much fun since... well... cod4 hardcore. ahem.

friends. not the people, but the television series. as someone who doesnt have sky or channel 4 i havent seen them in ages, so i've downloaded them(naughty!) and in the last 2 and a bit weeks i've watched over 5 seasons worth.

also downloaded some old wrestling, all the xmen cartoons, all the visionaries cartoons, bucky o'hare, and on the way are pirates of dark water and thundercats. SCORE!!!

bad things.

lack of sleep.

as good as it went i never wanna do another wedding again!

broken phone. had to spend money i'd saved up to get a new one. and i'm still not fussed on the piece of crap.

friends. not the tv series, but the people. not because i'm annoyed by them, but a couple of good friends are leaving to go to uni, i'll be soooo lonely=/ har! nah i'm glad they're going as it'll do em good and hopefully they'll make summin outta it, i will miss em tho!

argos card had to be paid.

otherwise lifes been pretty quiet. debated with myself about guitar hero 5, havent really picked any of the others up for ages so cant really warrant spending £40 on it. got some dvds coming... cky1-4, and all the jackass series and films too. less than £35 for it all! i love amazon=D

that'll do for now... just aint written anything for a while so didnt wanna neglect it any longer.

i'm out.

i did not notice...

2009-08-28T05:19:00.000-07:00

i've reache 50 posts. yay!

this seriously needs to be watched.

bricking it

2009-08-27T19:05:00.000-07:00

tomorow, i am a tad nervous about.

doing wedding photos for the first time ever, so thats got me a little nervous. whats really making me shat my pants? for part of it i'll be in a helicopter=| i have never been in a plane or up high before, and theres a reason for that. i'm shit scared of heights! i'll only be in the helicopter for 6 minutes but it'll feel more like 6 hours. i cant even sleep because of it, and i feel like a retard!

so think of poor kev at about 5pm friday.

"speak the words i want to hear...

2009-08-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

to make my demons run...."

and so is the person i yearn for that can speak such words.

its late, i'm not that tired. i need things to tire me. thoughts, of course. sometimes thinking can be so tiring yet so inspiring it'll keep you awake for hours, sometimes the same is true of darker thoughts, not allowing you to rest for constant mind fidgeting. sometimes, i have no problem shutting my brain off, and fall asleep easily. othertimes, i sense blowing a hole in the side of my skull with a shotgun wouldnt stop it from thinking.

so the past week has gone, and some things have happened. i'm now 29, and hoping i can do something to 'celebrate' my 30th next year. hopefully somewhere... else. i'm not bothered about birthdays that much, it just seems to be a day i actually hear off people more than i normally do, either from a sense of caring or a sense of guilt. such is the weird mystical world of friendship! ah friends, i've been slowly working my way through the american sitcom, and thoroughly enjoying it too. series 3 is where i'm at.

RIP shout out to my phone, my old nokia n80. she died a few days ago from a non-working display, you will be sorely missed. on the other hand, welcome miss blackberry. you annoy the hell out of me so far and shall probably continue to do so, but i shall give you time to weave your charm over me yet.

well, gonna give bed another go....

thank you for reading another pointless and aimless blog

last few days.

2009-08-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

over the last few days, i havent blogged so thought i'd fill you in.

thursday, i got older. i didnt get old cause i already am, but next year.... pssh. oldER.

guys down the park got me this

mine broke a couple of weeks ago so well chuffed=]

also had a little money so i've treated myself to something i've wanted for an age...

always been a huge fan of harleyquinn, so had to do it.

also won this today on ebay for £3 free p&p

tho the one i'm having is the pal version, i'm lazy and cant be arsed to upload the actual pictures!

so saturday night my mate has a get together as hes just turned 18, so we all go down, tried jagermeister for the first time ever (not very pleasant!!) and generally had a good laugh. had a little fume earlier from what someone said to me on xbox live, a good friend too, so just turned off and went pacing about the house. i do hate that i cant just bite someone back and tell em what i think... i hate being nice and not wanting to hurt peoples feelings. ho hum=/ basically watched about 5 episodes of friends since then and now writing this!

gotta get up early, got stuff to do so taking the camera with me, gotta do some pics for someone, in the sin city style i think too. 5 and a half hours sleep IF i'm lucky. meh.

good news tho.... subway=D

oh tomorrow....

2009-08-12T05:44:00.000-07:00

is a day like any other, apart from that i try to treat it as normally as possibly.

however, if anyone would like to show up at my house with one of these, i will love you forever. if you show up with this last one.... please, just marry me.

if you show up with this last one.... please, just marry me.

the babies.

2009-08-09T20:07:00.000-07:00

the toy collection!

as you can see, I like transformers. I also like metallica, streetfighter, and akira. oh and yes, that is an original optimus prime=]

brecon

2009-08-09T15:44:00.001-07:00

spent the day in brecon then llangorse lake. think thats how its spelt anyhoos=]

some piccies!

leroy, looking quite demure

steph, smily fag

texture. or, chipboard, as its sometime known

old man, hands look fighty!

not sure what this ghastly thing is!

boat

apparantly!

liked the ripples.

reflections

good day in all.

a big chunk of 'meh'

2009-08-04T10:04:00.000-07:00

todays been a bit mixed. really quiet, was hoping for some chilling with people today but everyones busy and has other plans. felt really alone, had a huge think on last night and some company woulda been awesome. ah well. did go to abergavenny with a mate earlier, bought a new book, 5th in the horus heresy series which i've been reading so thats cool, a new pen, which i'm unsure how it works as its a bit strange, but should be cool for some graffiti, and a bag of chips which were very nice! especially as it was raining and i was sorta cold.

this evening, i'll either be reading or watching films or playing videogames. or a combination or possibly even all three. things from play came yesterday! beavis and butthead do america, smell of reeves and mortimer complete series and crimson viper street fighter 4 figure=]

my friend laura came over yesterday, we watchedchildren of men and 2 episodes of planet earth, and had a good natter throughout too. she be lovely! this week i dont have any intentions or plans, except maybe try and do something creative. i'm yet to set the ps2 up, so thats on the agenda. also a bit more of a room sort, couple of things being sold so a bit more room becomes available! one can only dream of having a few rooms with which to fill of ones geek-stuff=]

SCORE!!!!

2009-07-29T14:57:00.000-07:00

today, i had this little beauty arrive=D

and my word, tastes as good as i remember over ten years ago! not all are mine though, went in shares with a matey but all good!!!

i also love play.com

crimson viper figure from street fighter, i have the ken and ryu ones.
beavis and butthead do america
complete smell of reeves and mortimer.

how much for all of this loveliness?

TWELVE ENGLISH POUNDS!!!!!

hence the title to this little wee blog=]

about sleep....

2009-07-25T18:36:00.000-07:00

i was going to bed over 2 hours ago. i swear! alas a good book reached my overbearing hands and focred itself onto my eyes for the best part of the 2 hours. honest??? bah. dont believe me!

but seriously, i've been into (i say into, mostly on the border and never getting that involved) with the games workshop world and its games. gaming was never a huge appeal to me, although its smaller and more accessible games were played, with blood bowl being a big favourite of mine. what has kept me intrigued over the years however, is the story side of the hobby. i've bought and read every single white dwarf magazine (games workshop monthly parchment) since issue 176, and at the moment its on about issue 340ish? not entirely sure exactly but its about there. thats a lot of reading and toilet hours lost in the world of warhammer, 40k and its other games.

a few years ago they started a black library line, which is basically a novel area based on all the games and characters but purely for reading pleasure. no buying miniatures, no undercoating or painting or no dice. this appealed to me a little more as i was always intrigued with the back story of the games. and the story that appealed to me the most was that of the horus heresy, based in the warhammer 40,000 game. its a pretty much epic story, and would take some time to even summarise, but the black library published a series of books based on the events of the horus heresy and i can honestly say i've been impressed. i've read the first three, and am curently on the fourth book, and i believe theres at least another 3-4 out there. i used to think that it would make an amazing set of films, but for these to be turned into films would need far too much screen time, possibly over 10 films to really be able to get into the details of what just happened.

videogame wise games workshop hasnt been able to push many good games out, warhammer online and dawn of war possibly being only the good ones, with a few mediocre and several worse games out there. but i always found myself drawn to the strength of the universe these games conveyed, and while the gameplay may not have been great, the depth and atmosphere was mainly of a high calibre. more games are coming out soon, with a gears of war esque space marine game coming out that looks like it could be brutal, and my beloved blood bowl also gets acomputer iteration.

the point of this blog is basically just to say its nice to be in touch with a hobby that relies on painting small figures or rolling large quantities of dice, without having to do so. while many may think these are the main draws to such a huge hobby, i believe that the detail the people at games workshop go into just to set an atmosphere and story for its games are just as important as the game itself, and in my case, moreso. i'd like to say i'd rattle some dice again, or break open some long forgotten paint pots, but its unlikely. i will however, breeze my hand over the pages of a magzine and place a bookmark into a book when my eyes fail to read no more.

shiny!!!

2009-07-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

so shiny in fact, its not even out here!

yes, look what i have..

and fair dues its fun! not the most polished bit of videogaming i've ever played, but certainly a good bit of fun and on a nostalgic level i'm trying to think if theres been a game like it!

awesome title screen, always fancied myself buying a firestation of my own. 5g for sliding down the pole!

THIS was complete nostalgia overload=] staypuft!!!

havent finished it yet, dont wanna rush through it too quick and havent explored the multiplayer yet, was dissappointed that theres no split screen=/ tis a good purchase though if you're a fan of busting ghosts, will prob sell it back on ebay when i'm done with it too!=]

the art of gawping.

2009-07-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

while my jaw has dropped in amazement of a variety of things, i do not gawp in complete orgasmic style at very much, but last night, i did it several times within an hour. planet earth on hd dvd is one of the most incredible things i've ever seen. the opening 5 minutes and i couldnt close my mouth. i missed most of it when it was on tv, so it was all new too. and seeing it in hd, well.... it was too much. seeing the cherry blossoms actually blossoms in china on the mountain sides was incredible, and the great white leaping out of the sea, its whole body out by about 5ft, was simply a sight of raw power. i truly have never been impressed by anything that came from a television studio in all my life.

episode 2 was all about mountains, "not that interesting" you may be thinking, but i didnt take my eyes off it. seeing a polar bear takes its cubs down from high up on the glacier mountains was both amusing and awe-inspiring, and the very rare footage of the snow leopard was also a treat to behold.

i'm only two episodes in, but should make that three or four tonight. going to see a couple of maytees, then home for more watching of all things natural. and hopefully... a few more gawps

feeling most unwell....

2009-07-21T10:36:00.001-07:00

this morning i felt fine. had some soup that the biddy made, and watched some cruddy tv. then. i spewed. over the next hour i was running back and forward to the loo for 2 different reasons throwing out high speed unwanted projectiles from pretty much either end of my body. obviously not the feet.....

had a nap tho and feel better. cant be arsed with food however so will stick to liquids.

planet earth on hd dvd came this morning, so i know have far too many things to watch. but thats a good dilemma methinks.

next round of streetfighter i'm against the person whos nearest to me, so it should be a very close game if theres decent internet signal. think this is where vandalworks comes tumbling down a tad!

heres how it started.....

2009-07-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

i was about 4 and a half to five years old. i loved toys, mainly lego at that point. action figures were cool, but a bit bland. then one day, an amazing cartoon was shown and my eyes lit up in much intrigue. here i could see cars, guns, aeroplanes and even a ghettoblaster morph into robots and back. transformers. seeing this cartoon i instantly wanted to know if there were toys available, and imagine my excitement when my parents gave me this.

huffer, in all his blue and orange glory, was my first ever transfromer. he may not look impressive to many, but to me, he represents a huge part of my childhood. actually being able to transform him from a robot to a lory and back again was something i found exhilerating, and then i begged my parents for more. and being the angel that i was(am) i was soon rewarded with what i regard as the greatest toy i've ever owned.

three words can describe optimus prime for me.

best. christmas. ever.

that xmas my dad made a point of how difficult opeimus prime was to get, he was the '84 buzz liughtyear if you may. apparantly, i promised i'd get him one of his own. foralmost 20 years xmas would come and whatever gift i got for my father would be met by "well this isnt optimus prime" followed by much mirth. however, a few years ago i gave my gift to old pops on xmas morning and it was met with the usual "well this isnt optimus prime"... i giggled innocently as he started unwrapping the paper. "jesus christ, it IS optimus prime!".

best. christmas. ever.

my dads face was so priceless seeing that i'd actually managed to get hold of one so many years later that having optimus prime origianlly now paled in comparison as in to giving him to my father. see, transformers for me isnt just about how they're exceedingly good toys and cool cartoons, they're about important parts of my life, things that i will remember and associate with parts of my life in a very happy way. everytime i see a transformer it makes me smile. it makes me smile about being young and carefree, thinking up wondrous adventures and using my imagination as a child should.

best. toys. ever.

wantings.

2009-07-10T19:42:00.000-07:00

and havings.

having these;

and i'd love this. pity i'm far to humungous to wear normal peoples clothing;

how cool is the zip!

3:30am. other thing i'd like is sleep!

split screen street fighter tournement....

2009-07-09T17:31:00.000-07:00

as mentioned elsewhere, is going well. everyones playing in the spirit of the game and enjoying themselves. and, despite my utter surprise i'm actually top.

how awesome does that look! it wont stay that way for long, some people i've played have been pretty darn good, and i think next time i play them it'll be a tad different! bit weird that prof membrain aka dean beat me yet i'm above him. haha!!! at YOU sir!!!

just a thanks to ben aka the faux bot for the idea, that boys a genious=]

come bust a move...

2009-07-08T17:33:00.000-07:00

where the games are played. its hip its hop its noahs arcade. HARUMPH!

some of you cool people may know where this comes from and some of you may not. but down to business and this blog is about videogames. again quite possibly too.

see, one of the first things i ever saw and considered truly amazing was seeing a fat plumper in red overalls jumping on a mushroom. yes folks, super mario brothers. amazing game and still enjoyable today. tetris was another of my favourites growing up, myself and my friend munchie would link our gameboys up and play constantly. sonic was fun, but i always preferred the plumber. then came... the SNES.

this was now the most incredible thing i'd ever seen. super mario world, one of the greatest games i've ever played had me hooked. sitting on a green dinosaur for the first time was better than losing my virginity several years later, and the feeling of finishing the game and finding all the hidden levels is the biggest sense of acheivement i've ever had in a game. 1000g thank you very much. other gems that appeared on this system included the still stupidly fun mario kart, top down comedy blaster zombies, and the for-its-time ground breaking starwing. what marks out the snes for me also was finally having street fighter 2 in my own home. no longer would it cost 50p to gain revenge on a 'friend'.

playstation. this is where sony started to take over and sega began to crumble. first game i put into my ps1 was wipeout, and what a game it was. i'd never felt this sense of speed and you actually felt like you were hovering above the ground. olympic soccor and worms were both firm favourite multiplayer games, but the game i remember the most was final fantasy 7. first tme i played it, i didnt get far and wasnt impressed. but a friend lent me his copy again and told me to play it more. so i did. and i couldnt put this amazing game down. story had me hooked and i was immersed.

the ps2 came and so did more firm favourites. mark eckos getting up, loved it but never finished it, which is a mission i have set myself to accomplish. pro evolution soccor also came to the fore, and myself and mate darren played this more than any other multiplayer game. final fantasy X came, and as good as it was i didnt finish it. lacked the charm of 7+8 in my view. one game that made an impact however was medal of honour frontline. running onto that beach at the start was a great experience that has been copied since. capcom versus marvel was another game i adored, but finding people to play against was a nitemare. and whats to say about seeing gta3 for the first time? and the day i bought guitar hero and spent it with mates TRYING to beat it on medium will always stay fresh in my mind.

and so now, a dilemma.

sony was'nt ready to bring its next gen machine out, meaning i either waited or bought an xbox 360. the original xbox was a horrid machine in my opnion, the pads were huge and it was teh ugliest console in history. but the 360 screamed out at me and i gave in. and i have not regretted my decision once! for this generation, even though i seen to be a bit more casual in my approach to playing, as in my attention span is quite short as opposed to spending almost an entire day playing mario or ff back in the day, there is few games that i do give much credit for.

call of duty 4, is a game i've had for over a year and still not got bored of. i regularly play with friends and almost everytime theres an incident that makes is burst out in laughter or melt with rage and fury. to which everyone else will laugh at.

streetfighter 4. whereas before, i'd have trouble finding people to play against, with the live capabilities you can play against anyone anywhere. and, due to a mates mate se4tting up a tournement i've never enjoyed street fighter more. win or lose its been great talking to people who also love the game and fighting furious battles with them has been an honour.

rock band 2. while guitar hero started this off with the guitar peripheral, rock band 2 is what i believe the finest iteration of any guitar hero or rock band game. many hours and many groans about aching fingers have been spent on this game, along with a special shout out to guitar hero metallica.

and so my basic gaming history, currently the only games i seem to play are cod4 and sf4, and its pretty much due to them being played with friends and says a lot for the community of videogames.

going to mordor.

2009-07-06T00:57:00.001-07:00

thats right, today i'm visiting mordor tydfil, scourge of the valleys. what on earth for you may ask? well, gamestation namely. have been informed they have a few hd dvds going cheap, so i wanna see what they have and maybe purchase them. also just wanna get some exercise for the first time in a week, of course dependant on the foot. maybe have some food too, not sure yet but a subway seems a good idea=] i also wouldnt mind a cheap ps2=]

toys=]

2009-07-02T06:17:00.001-07:00

I love toys. did as a kid, do now. you may or may not know but i'm a bit of a transformers fan too, and yes, i have seen the movies and yes, sorta awesome and sorta shit they are. but alas, back to toys.

my latest additions to my collection are;

menasor, aka black hot rodimus. not a huge hot rod fan but fair dues, this was too cool looking to not own.

and also megatron. G1 love! had to own this guy, i've got about four or five variations of prime including two originals... so its only fair the decepticons get some loving!

next on the list, are possibly some mightymuggs. play and amazon both stock a few diferent ones... which ones to save for!!??!?!

the art of being sombre

2009-06-29T11:47:00.000-07:00

todays a really grey day. weather wise its lovely. i'm talking about my mood. over the last week, i've had a couple of dreams of people from my past and then gone on to either hear about them, heard off them or seen them. and its a tad depressing.

numero uno... someone i fell for many moons ago, dreamt about last week. not sure what happened in the dream, but i find out shes pregnant a few days ago.

numero deux.... someone i used to go out with i dreamt about, about how she wanted to get back with me... well, i've actually heard off her. and shes engaged.

there was another one but less said and thought of the better as far as i'm concerned. its all just made me feel really down i guess. its kinda made me feel like i'm in a bit of a lull, if thats spelt right. feel like i need someone. and tbh, i dont think theres anyone there for me... at least not for a while. i was thinking just the other day, watching a couple walk past holding hands. what makes us wanna do this? i thought i could quite happily not have this, and theres more to life. perhaps there is more to life bit having someone is definately a big part of it. worst thing is, an ex i am in contact with wants to meet up... and as much as i'm trying not too... i kinda do=/

also havent been able to go to teh banksy exhibition, foots fucked. gonna try go to the doctors methinks. really getting me down too!

ah well. thank fuck the xbox cant cheat on me.

i hope=

currently recruiting...

2009-06-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

leg donors. my legs are fucked. as soon as one heals, the other is buggered. all this weather and i'm incapable of doing anything in it... except fight it seems. the "Split Screen" streetfighter IV tourney is ongoing, and i've had three fights and won an astonishing two. pinched a round off dean aswell which was good, so at the moment i am shocked. mainly because i'm not that good at streetfighter and i'm putting it down to a bit of luck, which is possibly from the regrowth of beard. it seems the wise-ity is coming back and the ability to tap buttons at the right time is returning too. had some good fights on there and perhaps the greatest pleasure has been meeting some good people on streetfighter, hoping to fight them more so they can see hoiw lucky i was to win the ones i did!

tomorrow, i'm hoping the foot is well enough for a slight expedition to bristol, where i hope to indulge my eyes to some banksy. exhibition sounds good, and i've been really impressed the ideas this man throws out onto the streets. however, there is a big hill to walk up, and bad feet dont like hills!

other than this life has been quiet. work progress is pitiful, theres literally F* all about. and even less that i think i could mentally do before becoming an absolute angry cunt. such is monotomy.

anyhoos, laters ladies and gents, hopefully next time i'll talk about these things.

how good the banksy exhibition was
how me and samwise the grump are going to belgium
how i've started losing on streetfighter
and how i've won the lottery

ghibli dreams and other such wonders.

2009-06-02T05:36:00.001-07:00

firstly, i've had a good weekend.

bit of a samboy session as it were, cardiff saturday, where i bought brain training and squad commander on ds, and streetfighter dvd, and even though i was dragged bridesmaid dress shopping/trying on i enjoyed myself immensely=]

sunday, we spent the day in bristol zoo with sams friend jo, which was more enjoyable than i expected, and i thought it'd be good=] saw lots of animals, bit gutted i didnt see more of lions as i think they're awesome animals, possibly being a leo but ah well.

i had a strange last night that was very 'ghibli' in its style...

i went to some stranghe school that, to access, you have to go over a very long drawbridge, and you get to an enormous castle where all you can see are walls. inside these walls are a strange castle, a huge hill with a glass corridor going up into a school and a huge industrial complex, with robots belching steam out from behind them.

and not entirely sure what happened but found out i was trapped, and was looking for a way out. there was a strange lift that went from one of the castle walls back to the main land but didnt know how to get there... then i sorta woke up. i sorta remember a parade while going in too, people on stilts and strange looking beasts.

weird!!!

mother nature is mocking me....

2009-05-26T05:14:00.000-07:00

see, we dont get much good weather here in wales. so sunday, we had glorious sunshine, and myself and a group of chums decided we should play some ball.

during the first game, in which my team was losing badly, i managed to steal the ball and went to run off down court to get a basket... onlyafter my second or third step i felt something 'twang' in my calf. since then i have had trouble walking and am in agony when i try! its getting better slowly, but teh weather is still lush out! and i cant make the most of it.

mother nature, you're an evil sarcastic bitch!!!

ever felt...

2009-05-12T17:15:00.000-07:00

that something you've been through in life needs talking about, like you need to tell everyone and it'd help explain why you are the way you sometimes are?

this is where i'm at. something happened to me a while ago, a GOOD while ago that i'll never forget and from time to time it affects me in a psychological way in that i become depressed, uninspired and just overall down with life. its something that i doubt will ever change, but i do sometimes feel it'd be a small amount of weight off my shoulders if i just blurted it out.

but i cant.

ho hum

something good.

2009-04-02T05:23:00.000-07:00

several years ago, i had a shit time. uni, people... everything was crap/ two things however kept me going.

music, and mainly metallica...

and basketball.

over the last few years my time playing ball has dwindled... its basically the odd shootaround here and there, whereas several years ago it was every other day playing with anyone and no-one in ponty park. used to play in ebbw leisure centre too, which was immense fun and had a good group of people there.

well, thankis to a certain ak, i've been informed its there again, and tonight, is my first proper game of ball in ages. have to admit, i'm nervous. i'll probably look like a fool thinking i can still do stuff i was doing years ago but all i want is to ejoy it and keep going. get fitter! also incredibly excited aswell, its made me remember how much i love the game.

in other news, been pretty quiet except for tuesday where a couple of people wanted some pics done for seperate things... whats that thing about buses?

xbox wise, still playing cod4, its just still good. hardcore headquarters is awesome fun, although some people may not agree. streetfighter 4 is still awesome, also borrowed skate and left for dead. not huge fans but will give em a go.

life at the moment.

2009-03-11T20:32:00.000-07:00

street fighter 4 has been released. holy mcmuffin its a bit good. i've always like streetfighter, and been 'decent'. never been that good like but i just enjoy it. fair plays tho capcom, i'd give you a lordship for this game. resi 5 is out this week. great. pile o wank that it is! cant move and shoot? this is NEXT GEN!!!!! not ps1 you buffons. oh capcom, lordship GONE.

doing some more photography soon, been a bit lax with it but got a few ideas swirling. wanna go somewhere too on the bus and get around with the camera, need some fresh places! also aint read for ages, need to read as i still havent finished knightfall and have another horus heresy book to read grrr! i blame streetfighter 4 and the eternally good cod4.

otherwise lifes a bit bland=/ no jobs about, sleeps always all over the place... ah well.

laters

oh michael bay...

2009-02-23T10:14:00.001-08:00

see what you COULD have done?

kev creams.

xbox loving.

2009-01-25T14:31:00.000-08:00

yes thats me. in one form anyway. check out the lovely looking gamerscore! complete accident but thanks to lord of the rings conquest for the good stuff.

now then, about achievements. gamercores for myself, mean very little. achievements themselves though, mean a bit. see, they can be good because they can help you notice things in games you may not notice conventionally. plus some are highly humurous. singing on saints row 2 for example, making me laugh for several minutes in disbelief that singing to the final countdown earned me 10gamerpoints.

lotr conquest is a bti of a shit game. yet i'm finding it fun. i suppose its like a wii game, fun for a short while but doesnt last long and seems cheaply made. dont get me wrong, theres a huge market for this and well done to ninty or noticing, but i like depth and polish, something there isnt enough on on the wii. despite the reported bugs, even tho i've experienced none, fable 2 is an incredible game. story is great, characters and humour is fantastic and most importantly the gameplay is good. what the lotr has done wrong is that its cheaply made. the moves for either side (good or evil) are pretty much exactly the same, which leaves little variety between the two sides. the gameplay requires the same things each time, pull a switch, capture a point on a map or kill a specific number of enemies. the graphics arent that great, and the story is basically some fmvs taken from the films with a little naration. yet, i'm enjoying it. i wont play it much more after i've finished the story but while the gameplay is shallow its the one thing thats actually done alrite. whats there is good. what isnt there, is a lot.

12345.

next, 20000.

maybe it'll take another year or so. guitar hero metallica please. bring.... it..... on.

free breasts

2009-01-16T14:56:00.000-08:00

as you may have noticed, if you visit here you are entitled to 'free breasts'.

to take up this offer please enjoy the words here and to claim the breasts, simple look down and your breasts will appear on your chest. have fun!

i want nothing more....

2009-01-15T21:51:00.000-08:00

at this moment in time, than my own place.

whats up? nothing. living with teh parents is good, get on amazingly well with them and theres no problems. but i just want my own space, it sorta still feels like i'm living out of boxes, and i just havent felt settled in again. so i'm applying for a job, if that happens (fingers, eyes, legs and balls are crossed firmly) i'll stay at home for a couple of months to save up, get overdraft a bit more healthy then.... i'm gone. dont wanna live far away, moved away from friends before and it was horrible. bloody women! so all i want is a flat, or i wouldnt mind sharing a house with someone. think i could manage that.

otherwise lifes been pretty quiet. photography is still behind in priorities with xbox, internet, insomnia and now reading being at the forefront. still waiting for my batman knightfall comic book, books 2+3 have arrived ages ago, but number one is still not here! got in touch with the seller so will have to check emails! been absolutely loving the horus heresy series by the black library too, all based on warhammer 40,000. for me to read two books in two weeks is something!

i really wanna play poker more often too, not online just with friends, had a game last sunday and although fun, we had to finish to a time due to the person kindly letting us use her front room had to be up before 7am in the morning... ouch! needless to say i didnt lose, but i didnt have a chance to win either!

also feel like i've put a bit of weight on.... think its the sleeping pattern playiung havoc with my body. need a job to get into a routine.

missions.

need to make lasagne, fancying one for ages!
take some photos, its been too long!
save a bit of cash to visit some peoples i aint seen for ages who live in newport and cardiff, especially lyons as hes going travelling... lucky bastard!

new years resolutions.

2009-01-05T19:35:00.000-08:00

or perhaps lack of.

xmas and 2008 has gone. adios, it was nice to meet you but i'm not too worried about meeting you again.

so whats in store for 2009? do i even know? to be honest, no. i'm not the biggest planner, however i'm not very spontaneous either. what does that make me? unsure.

i'd like a holiday this year, so going to try save some money and perhaps go to iceland. not cheap i know, but its the best place to see the northern lights, and i'd love to see those. it just looks so incredible and dare i say, spiritual? no thats not the right word, i'm not a spiritual person. perhaps eye opening is more the word? a place to perhaps find myself? doubt it... i'm 28, i probably wont ever find myself, but perhaps it'll put me on one of the paths that could lead me that way.

games wise, skate 2 is out end of january, and i'm slightly tempted. however,guitar hero metallica is out at some point and i need that game. not just metallica, my favourite band, but kyuss also make an overdue appearence. cannot wait.

fable 2 is also one of the finest games i've played of recent years. if you have a 360 and £20 to spare get it. i'd also like this year to start arty stuff again, bit of painting, perhaps some miniatures i've had for a while. photography wise after the exhibition i slacked off from it. i kinda wonder if its really me, being behind the camera. not that i'd want to be in front of it, oh no. i mean stay away from it. it'd also be nice to get myself a place. i'd prefer to not get involved with anyone either, just last couple of experiences with the opposite sex havent been great. just need a break from it all and just be responsible for myself.

unsure of anything else to speak of, so shall call it a night.

laters

today

2008-12-26T05:21:00.000-08:00

is boxing day. and for some reason I'm in a bad mood. I feel I need to be carefu8l around my parents because if they say something i'll snap, every little thing is pissing me off. I'm mostly laid back, so I guess i'm entitled to this. i mean, most women are like this all the time so its only fair.

xmas has gone, went alrite too. was nice to spend time with my nephew, and we've finally got him on live so it means more conversation for me. didnt really have much for xmas, although i did have a cookbook by Ching-He Huang and its got some amazing recipes in there.

today, my intent is to stay clear of people. or perhaps i should tell things as they are.

fuck=/

its 5:13am.

2008-12-12T21:13:00.001-08:00

and I havent just got up. see, my mind truly springs to life at these late times of the day. for some reason, inactivity becomes a rare philosophy in the brain of one. I have no reason as to why I find it difficult to shut off when I wish to sleep. I've got things in my mind that really shouldnt be there from dark times, but they're not always foremost. its menial things that fill my mind. simple things such as what if i'd have done this earlier and not that. what if i'd seen someone or gone here today. what if something completely random happened.

I'm trying to figure out if this is some strange ocd thing. its most commonly associated of course with cleaning. perhaps its a subconcious thing. perhaps, its the entrance of a dream.

ah yes... dreams. what are these truly remarkable things that can be so vague, so vivid, so inspiring and so depressing and frightful that haunt/delight us when we are asleep? i'm thinking theres a link between thinking a lot before sleeping and vivid dreams. mainly because i have vivid dreams quite often. do they symbolise things? possibly. i've often wondered if my life was meant for greater things, but i never seem motivated or imspired to find out. glimpses yes... but if theres one thing i fear, its reaching my potential and being disappointed.

think about it. something you love doing, but you're never going to be good at it. I've never been someone to be great at any one thing. just decent at many. I get bored easily, and want to move on. i'm always intrigued by new things, not for a fashion or fad thing, sometimes things fly by me and i'm uninterested. but sometimes things come along that actually do inspire me to try. a little.

i'm intrigued by allsorts. I suppose photographing makes you observant and occasionally gives you insight into something that other people may not get. of course... photography is another of those things. I'd love to do it as a career.... but not through lack of trying, I just havent found anything to do with it. and I must be honest its depressed me. I've had mixed results with the subject. I've been part of an exhibition with two artists and it was a very proud moment... but as much as I loved having people come up to me and express opinions or ask for what made me click the shutter, I dont seem able to do it all the time. I always have ideas, just a lack of motivation. no, thats the wrong word and i'd be lying to myself. its a lack of effort.

I remember when i was about 6, before junior school. we had a little test and I finished everything before anyone else and didnt have any question wrong. gold star. chest. did well. that one moment, one little moment from more than 20 years ago is where I see my problems. I know I can do well. I know i'm more than able of doing whatever I put my mind too. But if I know I can... why prove it? I dont garner enjoyment from praise, and therefore feel no need do things for others in that sense. I enjoy making people happy, for instance I'm asked to take photos for someone and it beings them happiness, then that I do enjoy. but I dont need it. some artists crave it, and that is what drives them into more challanges and ideas.

"you need a great big kick up the arse". its a common sentance used when people are lazy. we're not all lazy, we're simply aware that we're more than able but need not for your enjoyment... but for our own. maybe I'm easily pleased. seems that way with some of my previous relationships. but thats not for here, its what I can do, if anything to sort this problem out. I feel that we need to not just pat people on the back, but be thoughtful about something someone has produced and perhaps give them a different way of doing things. we're humans, we think and talk. two things that sets us apart from other beings. we should think more, conceptualise for a swanky word, and then be oral about this. many people are afraid of sharing an opinion on someones thoughts or creations because they wish not to offend the person.

this person, if a true creative being, should enjoy this more than someone saying "ooooh" and "aaahhhh". "what if you tried this or used this?" doesnt that sound better? inspiring others to think instead of pleasing them? perhaps when I've shown people my work, I dont want people to tell me how much they like it, I want to know what THEY may have done, what they didnt like and what they'd change. I want constructive criticism.

see, none of this has been planned, its all from just thinking for 15 minutes before I do try and sleep. I love writing my thoughts down, even if no-one reads them, sometimes the black and white of text can justify your thoughts or debase them. I enjoy this. being able to translate thought into type, it makes me able to see what I've thought about and perhaps shed light on myself. you know how people never get to truly know you? I feel like that. but with myself. I've never truly fit in anywhere, and is perhaps why I enjoy my own company. however I'm unsure I really fit in with myself.

where now I dont know. I'm off to bed, and I never know where thats going to take me.

The Dark Knight.

2008-12-12T12:25:00.000-08:00

and my problem with it.

joker, yeah he was a great bad guy, that was fine. twoface however is where my problems arise.

he was underused. he should not have died, and should be battling batman in the next film. to a point. two face has made a new crime wave in gotham, but can feel batman closing in on him. what does he do?

picks up the phone.

dials a number.

2 words and a number.

$50,000,000. Kill the bat

some sort of criminal activity is taking place, batman enters the fray and starts easily knocking the villians over. all of a sudden, he senses a huge figure behind him

BANE.

not the shit one from the clooney batman, this is THE bane. intelligent, calculating. powerful. he means shit. batman escapes bharely with his life as bane has the better of him. no shame in retreat. figure this out. batcave.

twoface, now feeling invincible goes with his cronies to do a bank job. batmans there. they fight, face gets the better, then batman. back and forward. two face has batman with a gun to his head. coin flips. you're safe. batman reverses the hold and now has twoface. flips the coin. end it. batman denies the coin, drives twoface insane. gun shots. suicide through madness. bane enters.

they fight again, and batman has more of an idea this time. knows his moves, is standing upto bane. click. bane staggers for a second... batman looks anxiously... bane stands to attention. "employer may have died. but until my contract does, this doesnt end." drugs pumped into bane, he seems to bulk up and look incredibly intense and focused. hulks up brother. batman looks bewildered. throws fists at bane as he stares down at the bat. grabs him by the neck and luanches him out into the street. batman runs. finds batmobile as bane comes through a wall. who needs doors when you're an bulked up uber assassin? chase scene, bat survives.

ending, who knows. huge fight. batman uses intelligence and possible a type of syringe to counter banes chemicals. but there it is. the potential.

the lost batman that'll never be.....

bring on Knightfall.

Dear Santa.

2008-12-02T18:50:00.000-08:00

how you doing old fella? thought i'd take it easy on you this year, even though you never get me what i want. but its all good, i wank in the mince pies we've been feeding you. anyhoos, my list for this year.

either eve myles, lauren laverne, eve myles, lucy porter.

my xbox back in time working please.

a zoom lens larger than my right leg. which is longer than the left btw.

a big cardboard cup of white buttons with hundreds and thousands on top.

mountain dew to become available in the uk again.

refreshers drinks to exist again.

new more flexible knees.

some spray cans as a stocking filler. red, green and white so its xmassy and the skatepark can be revandalised nicey.

some money in the form of several pound coins cellotaped into a card like your nan used to do.

the hobbit to be an amazing film and not a shit book where elves sing like a bunch of gayers enj0ying a musical.

a new beard.

the really really really swanky drumkit for rock band on amazon.

rock band 3.

asda to give me free pizzas when i want. always of course.

mock the week, 8 out of ten cats, QI and never mind the buzzcocks to be on more. not at the same time, but one of them always has a run.

stephen fry to become prime minister.

dylan moran, bill bailey, frankie boyle, dara o'breien and mark watson to be in his cabinet.

prime ministers questions on television three times a week.

the chance to shoot the new transformers film.

the chance to shoot michael bay.

kris kringles wife. only joking pops xmas;]

rudolph to be found the only reindeer survivor of chernobyl.

dolph lundgren makes a sequel to masters of the universe.

toronto raptors to play a european game in the cia and for myself to be given front row seats and as much camera usage as one wishes.

a japanese girlfriend who is rich and loves tall rotund men. with glasses. and new xmas beards.

phillipa forrester to become a sex symbol again like the good old days. be nice to feel young again.

free hd television for all.

someone to realise that there are people out there that are rather tall and big and make some decent tshirts for us.

all this to actually happen.

so santa, I think compared to normal thats pretty simple and do-able. maybe i wont make your mince pie extra salty this year.

music is therapy.

2008-11-30T19:27:00.000-08:00

Think about that title for a second. Music isn’t just a billion dollar industry or a form of entertainment, its much more than not. Not just for us who listen and hear it, but for those who play it. It’s a way of letting things out, things we wish never happened, things that happened to us for no fault of our own or events we never want to forget. This is what makes music so invaluable to us.

For me, music helped me through a couple of difficult stages of my life. The reason I love metallica is because many songs reached out to me and became more than just the bands philosophies, stories or creations… they became mine also. Something there connected and lyrics meant more than just what they were intended for, they became part of my life. This is the power of music. Its not always the lyrics. Sometimes the music itself can imitate part of you. It can be any type of music, from classical to heavy metal, from ballads to rhymes even. Heres a few songs that mean more than just a bit to me.

Stillborn (acoustic version) by black label society.
Whatever is to be said of this songs original version, which I think is a pretty decent metal track, this version totally blew me away. The lyrics and tone of wyldes voice had much more emotion and the acoustic guitar speaks almost as much as zakk himself. A truly beautiful song.

Astronomy by blue oyster cult.
Also covered by metallica, and incredible epic of a song. For me its about a journey, the soft intro and the thunderous chorus, gives me shivers down my spine everytime I listen to it. Possibly one of my favourite songs ever.

Space cadet by kyuss.
Kyuss are possibly one of the most overlooked or unknown bands to not get due recognition. A sound that is their own, and this song for me is possibly the pinicle of a great list of tracks. Meaningful and magnificent.

Mosquito song by queens of the stone age.
Following on from kyuss, josh homme founded queens of the stone age with nick olivieri. Another song I would happily describe as epic, I love the guitar and the big booming classical section. Homes vocals are fantastic and almost haunting.

Little wing by jimi Hendrix.
Both instrumentally and vocally I would say is one of hendrixs finest moments. For me its all about theres always someone there for you, whether its friends family, or most often in my case, myself.

S&M by metallica.
Yes it’s a whole album, but taking a group of songs and making them even more incredible is a huge thing to do, and its pulled off thanks to metallicas talents and micael kamen’s (rip) adaptability for the san francisco philharmonic orchestra. From the intro to the end, there’s so much passion and intensity going on it requires many plays. No leaf clover a then new song written specially is an overlooked metallica classic, battery is even more monumental than usual and outlaw torn is simply huge.

Theres probably a lot more songs out there but these are the core as to what makes me me.

its been a while...

2008-11-22T11:49:00.000-08:00

mainly because i've had a lot to say but not sure in what way is best. so i'm gonna leave it all.

rock band 2.

theres 3 words for you there to think about. especially if you're a gaming fan. 3 beautiful words.

i bought this friday when it was released here in the uk, and i think i must have totalled ten hours. its the first time in a long while, since guitar hero 1 probably that a game has been addictive to me. i am loving it. great selection of songs, even the songs i'm not into i dont mind playing because they're nice to actually play. fucking brill it be. which means gears 2, saints row 2, guitar hero world tour, and tiger woods 09 has been staying on the shelf. all good games but... rock band is just too good. playing mystery set lists is good, you never what whats coming, theres no uniform, and they add small stipulations such as...

rich kids. you're playing this gig for rich kids and while you wont gain as many fans, you'll earn triple the cash.
charity gig. you wont earn anything but get triple the fans.

and so on. it may seem simple but it adds up to a great game. best i've played for a few years in all honest truth.

about me.

2008-10-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

or is it? see, often before those few hours of sleep i get every night, i think. about everything and nothing. sometimes its about people, about what i want or would have liked, and sometimes about completely random nonsense. the latter, gets a turn now.

this planet, and this whole "life" thing. whats it about? i mean seriously, religion? no thanks. sounds too absurd to me that all these things happened centuries ago and now these just ancient books to give us proof. if you believe in it, fine. just dont preach shit. see, in my own thoughts i cant tell exactly what everyone else thinks or if they're like me. for all i know you could all be puppets or actors, much akin to a certain jim carrey film. perhaps everyone is like this but we appear differently on other peoples "reality", hence perhaps the dream. dreams, are the most random and mysterious things i have ever or will ever encounter. why? where from? what for? i've dreamt about something, and then it'll happen a few days later. dejavu? perhaps. but i know i dreamt it. also, they twist reality and thus confounds us(or me) with confusion. other times, they are complete nonsense.

but why am i here exactly? i've done nothing of mention in my life surely? maybe thats still to come, i'm really unsure. but it just makes me wonder what is all this about? i once summised it was a game. serious. just listen...

earth. created by a guy with a big white beard (hence god). he created a game for his own kind to spend doing what they may consider enjoyment. aim of the game? well, you dont have to, but the idea is to become a well known figure and to have done some good. the OTHER aim is the opposite. so for example... hitler. whoever controlled this egotistical twit did extremely well and did a lot of bad. da vinci, became one of the most brilliant artists and inventors of all time, and became one of the high scorers. etc etc. this was all thought of during another restless night years ago. i do apologise.

so is there a great purpose? i'm really unsure. but main thing? try to make yourself happy. tis about all you can do really. fuck me... i babble a bit dont i=/

things on my mind.

2008-10-28T09:19:00.000-07:00

recently theres been some things happen in my life thats making me unable to be with friends. the main concern is this. marijuana.

a lot of my friends smoke it regular, and by regular i mean it daily. is this a bad thing? surely, studies have found that theres no real danger of use of marijuana? and whys that? because its only over the last 5 years its become more widely avaialbe and become such a trend its rare to find people who do not smoke it. to be around people who do can be a difficult thing. they often say little, unless its about weed itself or some obscure thing about another subject. it costs them stupid amounts of money, money, which in a certain case could be used to pay back a good friend as promised, and can make people suffer from a lot of paranoia.

i'm seeing people in front of my eyes throwing their life away because they see marijuana as not being a drug. funny thing is, it is. and quite possibly a dangerous one at that, because of the general ignorance as to its dangers of use by the people who smoke it.

i feel so strongly that, this year, i'm not going to the annual halloween party that all my friends go to simply because i dont want to be in this atmosphere anymore. i just cant sit there watching them fuck themselves up for some feeling that can exist without smoking.

the quaint smell of.....

2008-10-22T19:39:00.000-07:00

newspaper burning as it encases the shit of an old hobo as he masterbates over yet another sarah palin article. she really is the spawn of cockmanger, the evil creation of tim burtons other self, dredged through the marshes of death and slumped at a beauty pagaent. who does she think she is? swanning around with guns shooting bears? what a capitulated little snarly cunt she is. i hope obama gets in and then employs her as his first whore. i mean, hes black and therefore a pimp for steroetypical sakes.

but yes, it is late here. unless you're reading this in another country and therefore it'll be another time, of which i care nothing of. it is this time of day i am often unable to think straight and sometimes ramble like an old man retelling his war stories in some small country pub about how he lost his wife using her as a shield to deflect nazi bullets. ya'see, I am not really me. i'm actually from the land of broomhandles which is found in yorkshire somewhere, and my secret job is that i destroy objects smaller than the eye can see. which is quite difficult. how can you destroy something if you can see it being destroyed? thats where i come in. i have magic pants that allow me to shrink to old chinese woman height (about 17inches) and can then see small inanimate objects that none of you can dream of being able to look upon.

did you know that there is life in you belly button? i drown them everytime i whack myself off, but fair play, the little buggars keep coming back.

anyhoos, its very late now. and i'm going to bed. its 11hours adb and so i will have a strange sleep.

remember... sarah palin, cocksmoker. mccain, insane. obama, whore farmer. you know who america needs to get in.

today i've lost a good friend.

2008-10-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

he was with me for the last 8 years, and he was incredible. he kept me warm, made my face look less round, and gave much amusement to others. beard, its only been 20 minutes... but i miss you. rip

the joys of sexbox.

2008-10-18T16:02:00.000-07:00

i've been given a lend of fifa09 and i'm not sure what to think. its good at some points.... and rubbish at others. cant be too bad cause i wouldnt be playing it otherwise. mercenaries 2 i felt was utter cack, and within two hours of playing i'd been given almost 400 gamerpoints. psssh. tried team fortress for teh second time and still think its horrendous, and for my multiplayer delights i reach for cod4. fuck me, nothing infuriates me more than this game but i love it.

gears 2 is out soon, as is cod waw, rockband2, ghwt, and i'm sure theres a couplke of others i'm looking forward for. most game i want? blood bowl. fuck me i'm excited and getting shivers down my spine thinking about this game... i used to play the board game of it years ago... and miss it. so this is orgasm material for me.

quiet day today too... went to argos to possibly get saints row 2 but was out of stock... so fuck it. maybe its a sign i dunno. had pizza (oh momma) and had a txt conversation with an ex... which was nice. at least some fucker still thinks i'm alrte haha. and now... maybe some fifa. be a pro mode is a bit addictive, if annoying. defending is a nitemare.

tally ho chappies and gallies, smoke me a skipper, i'll be back for the cappin'.

plumpfenhaargen

2008-10-15T18:36:00.000-07:00

i'm not sure if this is a diary, or somewhere to write about anything... so i'm using it as both. today has been alrite. went to play some poker with the boys and out of 5 i came second. no money but a bit of pride at least. otherwise its been pretty quiet. my modems fucking me off though... keeps disconnecting and has done over the last two weeks. something that never happened before. aol can gimme a new one methinks!

at this moment in time... i'm kinda lost. single, jobless, and uninspired. bit poop innit? i've never been the most motivated of people, but at this very second i really cant be arsed. worried about a close friend too.... so thats been on my mind. especially as its affecting a few of my other close friends... bah to life.

i'm still not sure of the purpose of this, but its true what a friend said. sometimes its just nice to write things down. good shit luv.

about women... i'm really confused at the moment. i'm not looking for love but i'm missing it... its a catch 22 kind of thing. i'd like teh closeness but i dont think after my last relationship i can be arsed. i think it must have put me off. but it'd be nice to get some attention that isnt a strange person or an ex. i kinda wish i had the motivation to try get a bit fitter and lose some weight... but i really cant be arsed. which lets be honest... is sad.

i need to fuck off for a bit. i need a holiday. but i need money. and money, is a scarce thing round these parts. any donations?

the cherry goes "pop".

2008-10-15T15:33:00.001-07:00

so here we go. my first blog. as you may notice, i rarely use capitals. this isnt a vocabulary issue i just dont use them. so yeah.

so what to write... could write about myself... but thats not entirely interesting. so maybe what to expect.

random factors. or tractors if you prefer.
links to cool things.
things i've done or in the middle of.
whats happening in my life or whats happened.
and many other wondrous things that'll probably be quite shit. but ah well.

catch ya soon.